A man who hadn’t attended church in years suddenly began attending faithfully on Sunday mornings instead of going fishing as was his normal habit. The pastor was highly gratified and at the end of service one morning told him, “How wonderful it makes me feel to see you at services with your good wife!” “Well, … Read more
An elderly American couple went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker explained to the husband that, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000 or you can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150”. The man thought about it and told him that he … Read more
A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. “Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme’?” she asked. “Well, no, “answered the puzzled homeowner. “But I have a wife and eleven children. “ “Is that a record?” she inquired. “I don’t think … Read more
A wife went to the police station with her next door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, “He’s 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children. “ … Read more
A woman was worried whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance. Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, her husband’s voice was heard answering, “Hello Margaret, this is meeee… “ “Fred, “she answered. I just … Read more
Recently a “Husband Shopping Center” opened, where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out with five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man … Read more
As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sex, the husband put his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table. One night, while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the bank to the floor where it smashed. To his surprise, among the masses … Read more
“I’m sorry, “said the clerk in the flower shop, “we don’t have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?” The customer said sadly, “No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man’s face. “What did you do that for?” the man asks. “Well, you don’t have the hiccups anymore do you?” The man says, “No, but my wife … Read more
A woman sitting at her deceased husband’s funeral. A man leans into her and asks, “Do you mind if I say a word?” “No, go right ahead, “the woman replies. The man stands and clears his throat, then says “Plethora” and sits back down. “Thanks, “the woman says, “that means a lot. “ This joke … Read more