A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes to investigate why the drunk is screaming. “What’s all the screaming in there?” he yells. “You’re scaring … Read more
“Are you two twins?” “No, why do you ask?” “Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes. “ “OK that’s enough, your driver’s license please. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The Bartender says, “Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?” The man replies “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts”. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
An Indian chief is driving his Cadillac somewhere in Nevada. Suddenly his car gets broken. He examines it, and reveals that a technician must be called. But the chief has only $4, and no credit card. So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and signals his tribe with its smoke: “Hey, send somebody to … Read more
A man is at his lawyer’s funeral and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. “Why are you all at this man’s funeral?” A man turns towards him and says, “We’re all clients. “ “And you all came to pay your respects? How touching. “ “No, … Read more
When the bar was about to get closed, a very drunk guy got up to go home. He stumbles and falls a couple of times and finally manages to get out of the door. As he gathers himself, he sees a nun passing by. He stumbles over to her and starts punching her in the … Read more
A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, “One burger!” Whereupon the chef grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill. … Read more
A man brought some prescription tablets and started cutting off the edges. This is because he wanted to avoid the side effects. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A divorce lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The lawyer thought for a moment, then said, “A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street. “ Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in … Read more