A drunk staggers in a Catholic church late one night and collapses in the confessional. Next morning he’s awoken by the sound of the priest entering the cubicle next to him. The priest addresses him through the grille. “Good morning, my son. What can I do for you?” “You got here just in time, “replies … Read more
Two old ladies are at the movies. “Psst, “says one old lady. “I think the guy next to me is beating off. “ “What makes you say that?” “He’s using my hand. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
“Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!” “Was it a Jersey cow?” “I am not sure – I didn’t see her license plate!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faces the opposing lawyers. ‘Both of you have given me a bribe,’ he says. ‘You, James, gave me £15,000. And you, Ronald, gave me £10,000.’ The judge reaches into his pocket, pulls out a cheque, and hands it to Tom. ‘I’m returning £5,000, and we’ll now decide … Read more
Two guys die in a car accident and an angel descends from heaven. “I am to give you your wings so you can fly to heaven. But if you think one dirty thought or act out one dirty act your wings will fall off. “ So they fly to heaven without any trouble but when … Read more
Two old friends met by chance on the street. After chatting for some time, one said to the other, “I’m terribly sorry, but I’ve forgotten your name. You’ll need to tell me. “ The other stared at him thoughtfully for a long time, then replied, “How soon do you need to know? This joke is … Read more
Two friends meet each other on the street. “Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill. “Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery. I just buried my mother-in-law” replied Sid. “I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face scratched all over?”. “It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a … Read more
A man enters a store and says: “5 liters of wine, please. “ “Did you bring a container for this? “ “You’re speaking to it. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk’s buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the … Read more
Lawyer: “Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?” Client: “After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I’m beginning to think I didn’t. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.