Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can’t hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language. He pointed to his eye meaning “I”, pointed to his knee meaning “need”, then … Read more
The doorbell rings. A man opens the door and there’s his mother-in-law on the front step. She asks, “Can I stay here for a few days?” The man says, “Sure you can. “and closes the door. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, “Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on … Read more
It was 5:00 in the morning at the U. S. Marine boot camp, well below freezing, and the soldiers were asleep in their barracks. The drill sergeant walks in and bellows, “This is an inspection! I wanna see you’s all formed up outside butt naked NOW!” So, the soldier’s quickly jumped out of bed, naked … Read more
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, “What’ve you got in your truck?” “Fertilizer, “the farmer replied. “What are you going to do with it?” asked the little boy. “Put it on strawberries, “answered the farmer. “You … Read more
Three men are sitting at a campfire telling stories about their great endeavors. The first man talked about how to sucked out the venom of a snake and sucked it up with 50 degree alcohol. The second man called it a circus trick as he had gotten 3 gunshots towards the chest and he put … Read more
Lady, how many sex partners have you had? Three. . oh no, wait… nine – I have forgotten one case. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
There were these two guys working late in a morgue, when one guy said, “Hey man there is a woman in there with a shrimp in her vagina!” The other asked, “What is a shrimp doing a dead woman’s vagina? Let me go see. “ Both of them went into the room with the woman, … Read more
A guy goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The girl behind the counter says, “What size?” He says, “I don’t know. “ She holds up a finger and says, “That big?” He says, “Bigger. “ She holds up three fingers and says, “That big?” He says, “Smaller?” She holds up two fingers and … Read more