An Englishman, an Irish man, and a Scottish man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, “We will give you one thing before you die. “ The Englishman says “water”, the Scotch man says “whiskey”, the Irish man says “a car door”. The Germans say, “Why do you want … Read more
One night a man was getting very drunk in a pub. He staggered back to take a piss, whipping his prick out as he went in the door. However, he had wandered into the ladies room by mistake, surprising a woman sitting on the can, “This is for ladies!” she screamed. The drunk waved his … Read more
It was Jim’s birthday, and he was considered to be an “old man” by his friends’ standards. So, to liven him up a bit, Jim’s friends decided to give him something special for his birthday. They bought him a hooker. The call girl, as she preferred to be called, went to his house and knocked … Read more
Two Eskimos have killed a walrus and they are on their way to their settlement. They are pulling the walrus by the tail, but it’s really hard to pull since its tusks keep digging into the snow and the tail continuously slips out of their grip. Halfway home, they come across a geologist. The geologist … Read more
A third old woman, full of happiness, asks her granddaughter; “My sweety, remind me please. . What’s the name of that German guy that blew my mind off… ?” “Alzheimer, granny!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O’Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, “O’Brian, come ‘ere. I ‘ave a request for ye. “ Shawn walked to his friend’s bedside and kneels. “Shawny ole boy, we’ve been … Read more
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don’t worry, Sir, it’s not that hot! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A cowboy rides in the desert and comes upon a Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, “What are you doing?” The naked man replies, “I’m finding out the time — it is 12:15. “ The cowboy looks at his watch and thinks, “Wow, it really is 12:15. “ The cowboy continues and … Read more
A policeman has just stopped a drunk driver and given him a breathalyzer test. ‘I’m sorry, sir,’ says the policeman. ‘But this bag tells me you’ve been drinking too much.’ ‘What a coincidence!’ exclaims the driver. ‘I’ve got a bag at home that does exactly the same thing! ‘ This joke is included in the … Read more
A man went into the drugstore and asked for a deodorant. “The ball type?” asked the clerk. “No, “said the dumb man. “It’s for my underarms. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.