One misty Scottish morning a man is driving through the hills to Inverness. Suddenly out of the mist, a massive red-haired highlander steps into the middle of the road. The man is at least six feet four, has a huge red beard and, despite the wind, mist, and near freezing temperatures, is wearing only his … Read more
“Excuse me, “a young fellow said to an older man, “I’ve just moved here and I wonder if this town has any criminal lawyers?” “Well, “replied the older man, “I have lived here all my life and all I can tell you is we are pretty sure we do, but no one has been able … Read more
An anesthesiologist has a stock answer to the usual question asked by pre-surgical patients: “How much will the anesthesia cost?” “Oh, only $100. 00. $1. 00 to go to sleep and $99. 00 for waking up. Most patients buy the whole package. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. “This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter, “said one. “No! He agreed to marry MY daughter, “said the other. And so they argued before the King until he called for silence. “Bring me my biggest sword, “said … Read more
A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, “Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce. “ “Because, “the man says, “I live in a two-story house. “ The Judge replies, “What kind of a reason is that! What’s the big … Read more
A man comes home and finds he has a letter from the Inland Revenue, advising him that he’s going to be audited. In a panic, he calls his accountant:”Oh my God, I’m going to be audited, what do I do?” he says. “Don’t worry, I have all your receipts and paperwork in order. “says the … Read more
Someone mistakenly leaves the cages open in the reptile house at the Zoo and there are snakes slithering all over the place. Frantically, the keeper tries everything, but he can’t get them back in their cages. Finally he says, “Quick, call my mother in law!” “Your mother in law? Why??” “We need someone who speaks … Read more
Lawyer: “Is it a crime to throw sodium in your enemy’s eyes?” Judge: “Yes, that’s assault. “ Lawyer: “I know it’s a salt but is it a crime?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, “I’m gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours. I sure would like a piece of cake after though!” Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, “Wow! , it worked!” Puzzled, his … Read more
A fellow charged with robbing a sporting-goods store asked a lawyer to defend him. “I will take your case, “the lawyer said, “If you will assure me of two things: that you are innocent, and that you will pay me $1600. “ The client thought for a moment, then said, “Will you do it for … Read more