A big bullfrog is in the middle of the swamp crying out his lament about being stuck so far from all the action. Out of nowhere this fairy godmother appears and tells him he will have an encounter with a beautiful young woman in three years. The bullfrog asks this fairy godmother why it will … Read more
A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance. The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?” “I … Read more
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, “How long before I can get a haircut?” The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, “About 2 hours. “ The guy left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, “How long before I … Read more
A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: “Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg?” “There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The landlady of a rooming house that had seen better days was leading a prospective tenant to a third floor room with badly splattered wall paper. Landlady: “The last man who lived in this room was an inventor—he invented some type of explosive. “ Prospective tenant: “Then the spots on the wall were some type … Read more
The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, “What do you have in there, pal?” “A mongoose. “ “What for?” “Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I’m scared to death of … Read more
The bartender asked a guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have? The guy answered, “A scotch, please. “ The bartender handed him the drink and said, “That’ll be $5. “ The guy said, “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this. “ A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, … Read more
Two men are walking in the desert. They come upon a hole in the ground. One man asks, “How deep is that hole?” The other responds, “I don’t know, throw something in it and see how long it takes to hit the bottom. “ The other man turns around and finds an anvil. He tosses … Read more
“Hello, “exclaimed Jonathan, as he met his friend Michael. “You’re looking a bit off color. Anything wrong?” “I’m afraid there is, “replied Michael, “I’ve had to give up drinking, smoking and gambling. “ “Well, I must say that’s all to your credit, “commended Jonathan. “Oh, no, it isn’t, “snapped Michael. “It’s due to my lack … Read more