A man walks into a bar pulling a heavy chain. The bartender asks the man what he could get him and why the man was pulling that chain around? The man answered “HEY! ! you ever tried pushing one of these things?! !” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
A bloke walks into a pub and sees Van Gogh standing at the bar. ‘Hi Van, can I get you a drink?’ ‘No, thanks, I got one ear.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Three tough-looking bikers stomp into a truck stop where a grizzled old-timer is having breakfast. One of the bikers extinguishes his cigarette in the old guy’s pancakes. The second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. The third biker dumps the whole plate onto the floor. Without a word of protest, the … Read more
Three men, a Frenchman, an Italian, and a Jew, were condemned to be executed. Their captors told them that they had the right to have a final meal before the execution. They asked the Frenchman what he wanted. “Give me some good French wine and French bread, “he requested. So they gave it to him, … Read more
A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution. “Great idea!” the chicken cried. “Let’s offer them ham and eggs!” “Not so fast, “said the pig. “For you, … Read more
A snail was involved in an accident that resulted in his shell being torn completely off. Hearing about the accident, one of his friends rushed over ,as much as a snail can rush to his friend’s house. “I heard about your accident!” he exclaimed, and then asked, “How are you feeling?” The recovering snail answered, … Read more
An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, “OK, but do you realize they won’t be as effective?” The old man says, “Listen sonny, I’m 80 years old. I don’t want them for sex but to get … Read more
A man died and went to hell and was sitting on a stone looking very depressed. A devil came up to him and asked: “Why the glum look, man?” The man replied: “Well I just died and now I’m in hell. “ But the devil just smiled and said: “Don’t feel bad, it’s not a … Read more
A first-time flier was frightened and nervous. As the engines began to roar, he gripped the arms of his seat, closed his eyes, and counted to one hundred. When he opened his eyes he looked out of the windows. “See those tiny people down there, “he said to the woman sitting next to him, “don’t … Read more
Visiting a genealogist, a man asked how much it would cost to have his family tree traced. “It could cost thousands of dollars, “said the woman. “I see. Well, isn’t there an easier way? A less expensive way?” “Sure, “she replied. “Run for president. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more