Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
An old couple is at a fair and the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50. The old man asks his wife, “I don’t have much time left. Can I ride in one of them helicopters?” His wife responds, “Oh well that’s way too expensive. “ The man running the helicopter rides as a … Read more
A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets in, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Nick. “ The passenger asks “Who?” The cabbie says “Nick Benson. There’s a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It … Read more
At a paternity trial, the blonde’s lawyer asked, “On the night of July 16th last, at approximately 11:45 p. m. , in the locale known generally as ‘Lover’s Lane’ did the defendant have sexual relations with you?” “Yes, “whispered the girl, her head bowed. “And did the defendant on that occasion, to the best of … Read more
An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple in their bedroom. The husband turned to his wife and whispered, “Honey, this guy hasn’t seen action in years. If he wants sex, I think it’s best to just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on … Read more
A wife to her husband: “Honey, what are you doing?” “I’m reading our marriage certificate. “ “What for?” “I’m looking for the expiry date… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
“So let me get this straight, “the prosecutor says to the defendant, “you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man. “ “That’s correct, “says the defendant. “Upon which, “continues the prosecutor, “you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing her. “ “That’s correct, “says the … Read more
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, “It really works!” This joke is included in … Read more
A man and woman were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor: “Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad. “Gushed son number one… “Sorry I’m running late, I had an emergency, you know how it is, didn’t have time to get you both a present”. “Nothing … Read more
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. “Give me a couple of steaks, “he says. “We’re out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken, “says the butcher. “Hotdogs and chicken?!” yells the hunter. “How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and … Read more
A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. “That’s such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn’t there anything I can do?” pleaded the patient. “Marry a lawyer, “the doctor advised. “It will be the longest six months of your … Read more