Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
Two Italian virgins marry and go on their honeymoon. Unfortunately, neither knows what to do when they get there. The newlyweds call the groom’s mother for advice. The mother says that they should sit on the bed together, snuggle, and things should happen from there. The newlyweds do this, but nothing happens. The groom calls … Read more
A man told his doctor he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house like he used to. When the examination was complete, he said “Now Doc, tell me in plain English what is wrong with me. “ “Well in plain English, “the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy. “ “Okay, “said the man. … Read more
Betty and Tim die in a car accident on the eve of their wedding. In Heaven, they ask St. Peter if they can still be married. “Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay here and I will be right back. “ Six months pass and Peter returns. “Yes, we can do this … Read more
A husband and wife are having financial troubles. They agree she should walk the streets to pick up some extra cash. The husband drops his wife off in the red light area of town, and returns 6 hours later. She gets in the car and says, “Look, I made $40. 50 !” “What jerk gave … Read more
A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, “How am I supposed to know? We’re 200 miles inland!” and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, “Sweetheart, who was that?” “I don’t know, some dumb bitch asking if … Read more
Two statisticians go bird hunting. The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet. The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet. They both give each other a high-five and say “Got it!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two husbands were having a conversation, First guy says proudly: “My wife’s an angel!” Second guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
An 87-year-old man chats with his doctor: “So, I’m getting married again next week, doc!” “Oh, that’s wonderful! And how old is the bride?” “She’s 19. “ “That’s fantastic – but I have to warn you, too much action in the bed can be deadly!” “Ah well, in case she dies, I’ll just have to … Read more
One day Sven walks into the local pub and announces, “Well boys Svens is getting married. “ As you can imagine all of Sven’s friends were very happy for Sven’s good fortune and they asked, “Who’s the lucky girl?” Sven replied, “Well I am marrying Madge. “ Well, this upset all of Sven’s friends because … Read more
Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe are divorcing. He found her to be possessive and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.