Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
Two gays Rupert and Cecil are lying in bed together Rupert starts rubbing vaseline on his chest. Cecil ask, “What you doing?” Rupert said, “I read that vaseline stimulates hair growth and I want a hairy chest. Cecil said, “Don’t be fucking stupid, if that was true I would have a ponytail sticking out of … Read more
A man and woman were celebrating their 50 year anniversary. That night, the woman comes out of the bathroom completely naked and looks at her husband who is already in bed. She says, “Honey, 50 years ago tonight, when I came out of the bathroom with no clothes on, what were you thinking?” He said, … Read more
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word he made contact, “Mary. Mary. “ “Is that you, Fred?” “Yes, … Read more
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large overcoat … Read more
A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and he says “I hope the porn is disabled. “ The guy at the desk replies. “It’s just regular porn you sick fuck. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she’s wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, “Where did you get that necklace?” She replies, “I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner. “ The next day, the woman arrives home from work wearing … Read more
At the court of a small provincial town, a lawyer calls his first witness, an old woman around 80 and he asks her with a professional style: “Do you know me, Mrs. Rowland?” “Of course, I know you Mr. Smith!” says the old woman. I have known you since you were little, and I have … Read more
Two eggs boiling in a pan. One says, “I’ve got a huge crack. “ The other replies, “Stop teasing me, I’m not fucking hard yet. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. … Read more
Two nuns are walking back to the convent at night when two men push them into a dark alley and start having sex with them. One nun says “God, forgive them for they know not what they are doing!” The second nun says “Speak for yours! Mine is a Master!” This joke is included in … Read more