A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses. “ The woman answered, “Well, I have contacts. “ The policeman replied “I don’t care who you know! You’re getting a ticket!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
A newlywed couple arrives in their sumptuous honeymoon suite, and it turns out they are both virgins. Brought up the old traditional way, neither of them really knows how to have sex. So after about half a painful hour of abortive attempts to get it on, an idea occurs to the husband. “OK, honey, “he … Read more
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and asks the barman “Can I have a drink for me and one for the road?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Guy takes his wife to the Doctor… The Doc says, “Well, it’s either Alzheimer’s disease or AIDS. “ “What do you mean?” The guy says, “You can’t tell the difference?” “Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages… Tell you what. . Drive her way out into the country, kick her out … Read more
A young reporter went to a retirement home to interview an aged but legendary explorer. The reporter asked the old man to tell him the most frightening experience he had ever had. The old explorer said, “Once I was hunting Bengal tigers in the jungles of India. I was on a narrow path and suddenly, … Read more
A man asked his wife, “What would you do if I won the lottery?” Wife says, “I would take half and leave you”. Man says, “Great! I have won a tenner, here a fiver now f*ck off! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots. “ Bartender says, “You want them both now or one at a time?” The guy says, “Oh, I want them both now. One’s for me and one’s for this little guy here, “and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of … Read more
A third age Scotsman was waiting for his son to return from his first date. Finally, he arrived after midnight. “Were you worried, father?” “Yes, I was really worried… I want to know how much that date cost you… “ “It cost me only four euros!” “Hmm, it’s not that much. “ “I know father… … Read more
Private Loyds was brought up before the unit CO for some offense. “You can take your choice, private – one month’s restriction or twenty day’s pay, “said the officer. “All right, sir, “said the bright soldier, “I’ll take the money. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it … Read more
A woman is learning how to golf. She has been teaching herself to play for more than three months and she is really bad. She decides to consult a golf pro. When she sees the golf pro, she explains how bad she is and he tells her to go ahead and hit the ball. She … Read more