While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer. The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable purchasing it. The first nun replied that … Read more
Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms. “How are you going to assist me?” asked Quasimodo. “That’s easy!” replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his … Read more
Three friends, a Rabbi, a Hindu holy man and a lawyer, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, “There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn. “ “No … Read more
The wise old Mother Superior was dying in a monastery hidden in the mountains’ hills. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received … Read more
The judge: “Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association?” The inculpated: “Why did the rabbit eat vegetables from my garden, without being a family member?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag. “ … Read more
“But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!” the society matron protested. “Can’t you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs?” “You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn, “soothed the police officer. “I’ll just put it … Read more
A policeman is driving along the road when he gets an urgent message on his radio telling him there has been a dead body found in an ice cream van just down the road. He rushes to the scene where he discovers a man’s body, with chocolate flakes up each nostril, raspberry sauce all over … Read more
One Sunday afternoon an older couple was listening to a holy station on the radio. They were about 98 years old and so frail, they couldn’t walk to church. The preacher said, ”If you put one hand on the radio and one hand on whatever you want healed I will heal it for you. ” … Read more
A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, “Why, Irish Mike, this wouldn’t be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?” “That it is, “Irish … Read more