Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. “What’ll be, boys?” The first vampire says, “Blood. Give me blood. “ The second vampire says, “I too wish for blood!” The third vampire says, “Give me plasma. “ The Bartender smiles and says, “Got it. Two … Read more
A man finds a lamp. He rubs it and a Genie emerges. The Genie tells him he will be granted three wishes. The man thinks for a moment and says, “First, give me a bottomless mug of beer. “ A mug of beer appears in his hand. He sips it once, then again and the … Read more
The morning of the big parade, a man and a little boy entered a barber shop together. “Give me the full treatment, “the man said. “I want to look good in the parade!” After the man received a shave, manicure, and haircut, he placed the boy in the chair. “I’m going to buy a new … Read more
A young woman is visiting her parents. While helping her mother fix dinner, she opens the refrigerator. On the inside of the door, she sees a sexy picture of a lovely, slender, perfectly built young woman. “What’s this about, Mom?” she asks. “Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to overeat, “the … Read more
A man in a bar had a couple of beers, and the bartender told him he owed 4 dollars. “But I paid, don’t you remember?” said the customer. “Okay, “said the bartender. “If you say you paid, you did. The man then went outside and told a friend that the bartender couldn’t keep track of … Read more
Little Johnny came downstairs bellowing lustily. His mother asked, “What’s the matter now?” “Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with a hammer, “said Johnny through his tears. “That’s not so serious, “soothed his mother. “I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why … Read more
Son: “Mom, do I look like God?” Mom: “No, honey. Why?” Son: “Because everywhere I go, people say, ‘Oh God, he is back! ‘“ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man is on trial for stealing an overcoat. The judge went straight to the point. “Did you steal this man’s overcoat?” he demanded. “No sir, “the defendant replied, with a grin. “I was just playing a joke on him. “ “And where did you take the coat?” asked the judge. “I removed it from … Read more
Kwamei walks into a restaurant and wants to order chicken. Unfortunately, English is not his first language and he can’t remember how to say chicken in English. Kwame sees the guy at the table next to him with a plate with 4 boiled eggs on it. Kwame points to the plate of eggs and says … Read more
Sven and Tom were talking in the bar. Sven said, “I just got kicked off the course for breaking 60. “ Tom looked at him, amazed. “Breaking 60? That’s amazing!” Sven smiled and said, “Yeah, I never knew a golf cart could go that fast!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more