A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him. One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. “Finally, some … Read more
A dog goes to a telegraph office and dictates a message. ‘Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.’ The operator reads it back then says, ‘You know, we charge per ten words, so if you want you could have an extra ‘woof’ for free.’ ‘No thanks,’ says the dog. This joke is included … Read more
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking outside. “What’s going on?” she yells out the window. “Cow on the track!” replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace, but within five minutes, it stops again. The woman sees the … Read more
Little Jennie was helping her mother to set the table, because her father invited over his company managers. When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing. “Jennie, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Mattew’s seat?” “I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that … Read more
A blind man was describing his favorite sport – parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: “I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go. “ “But how do you … Read more
Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, “Damn, I forgot to feed the dog. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, “Vietnam, 1969. “ The other points his thumb behind him and says, “Dog crap, 20 feet back. “ This joke is … Read more
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, “I tell you, this mad cow disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the McDonald’s farm. “ The other cow replied, “Hell, I ain’t worried, it won’t affect us … Read more
A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground. The father approaches his son and asks what he’s looking at. The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they’re doing. Their father replies that the two spiders are having sex. It’s a … Read more
A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle. The frog hops into the princess’ lap and says, “My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle … Read more