“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more
A poodle and a collie are walking down the street when the poodle suddenly unloads on his friend. “My life is a mess, “he says. “My owner is mean, my girlfriend’s having an affair with a German shepherd, and I’m as nervous as a cat. “ “Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist, “suggests the … Read more
A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She claimed that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined. After the trial he asked the judge, “This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?” The judge said that was true. “Does this mean I cannot … Read more
A little girl is in the kitchen watching her mother prepare for the following day’s Christmas dinner. She asks, “Mommy, can I please have a cat for Christmas?” Her mommy replies, “No honey, you’ll have turkey just like the rest of us. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
Judge: “Do you mix horse meat with chicken?” Defendant: “Yes, my lord. “ Judge; “How much?” Defendant: “50/50” Judge: “Please explain. “ Defendant: “One horse to one chicken. “ A totally naked woman rushed in a taxi. The taxi driver turned back and stared at her so keenly. The woman asked the taxi driver, “Why … Read more
Two lawyers arrived at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and begin to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, ‘Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches here! ‘ The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches. This joke … Read more
One day a boy asked his grandpa “grandpa make a frog sound” The grandfather asked why? The boy said, “Grandma says when you croak we are going to Hawaii” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A vacationer telephones a seaside hotel to ask where it was. “It’s only a stone’s throw from the beach, “he was told. “How will I recognize it?” asked the man. “It’s the one with all the broken windows. “came the reply. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it … Read more
John was driving his pickup down a country lane when suddenly a chicken darts out into the road in front of him, doing about 30 miles per hour. Amazed, he sped up to follow, but the chicken took off faster and faster. Finally the chicken screeches into a turn and goes into a farm. As … Read more
Two cowboys were lost in the desert when they spotted a tree draped in bacon strips. “We’re saved!” shouted one cowboy. But when he ran up to the tree, he was shot multiple times. It wasn’t a bacon tree, it was a ham bush. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more