Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, “Boy, business sucks. If I don’t sell more cars this month, I’m going to lose my f**king ass!” Too late — he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language. “That’s okay, … Read more
A guy is driving his car and finds a friend crying, sitting on the road. He stops and he asks him: “Hey, What happened to you?” “Look!” and he points a crashed car, while still crying “Well, don’t worry, buy another car. “ “Look inside the car!” “Well, don’t worry and get another blonde, and … Read more
Coach: Your roommate and the captain of the team reported that you have many bad words for me in your sleep! So do you abuse me in your sleep! Football Player: Coach, It is just not true! Coach: What is not true, I trust the captain and I am asking this in front of him! … Read more
Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. “Well, go in the bushes. “ “What should I use to wipe my ass?” “Use a dollar bill. “ A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with shit all over his … Read more
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain, “came the reply, “except the lawyers … Read more
The bartender said “Sorry,we don’t serve time travelers. “ Two time travelers walk into a bar. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks him, “What’s wrong?” The boy says, “Me ma is dead”. “Oh bejaysus, “the man says. “Do you want me to call Father O’Riley for you?” The boy replies, “No tanks mister. Sex is the last ting on my mind at the … Read more
Two lawyers are walking down the road when they see a beautiful woman walking towards them. ‘What a babe,’ one says. ‘I’d sure like to screw her!’ ‘Really?’ replies the other. ‘Out of what?’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The young father took a seat on the bus next to an elderly man and plopped his one-year-old on his lap, just as the little boy began to cry and fidget. “That child is spoiled, isn’t he?” the old man remarked. “No, “said the dad. “They all smell this way. “ This joke is included … Read more
A young lawyer, defending a businessman in a lawsuit, feared he was losing the case and asked his senior partner if he should send a box of cigars to the judge to curry favor. The senior partner was horrified. “The judge is an honorable man, “he said, “If you do that, I guarantee you’ll lose … Read more