On a transatlantic flight was a lively youngster who nearly drove everyone crazy. He was running up and down the aisle when the flight attendant started serving coffee. He ran smack into her, knocking a cup of coffee out of her hand and onto the floor. As he stood by watching her clean up the … Read more
It’s night and a drunk is crawling along the pavement looking for something. A passer-by offers to help and asks what’s missing. The drunk replies that he’s lost his watch. ‘And where did you lose it?’ asks the passer-by. ‘About half a mile up the road,’ replies the drunk. ‘So why are you down here?’ … Read more
A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked “Did I … Read more
Coach: Your roommate and the captain of the team reported that you have many bad words for me in your sleep! So do you abuse me in your sleep! Football Player: Coach, It is just not true! Coach: What is not true, I trust the captain and I am asking this in front of him! … Read more
After a heavy night at the pub, a drunken man decides to sleep off his drunkenness at a local hotel. He approaches the reception desk, takes care of the formalities and heads off to his suite. Several minutes later, the drunk staggers back to the reception desk and demands his room be changed. “But sir, … Read more
Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. “Well, go in the bushes. “ “What should I use to wipe my ass?” “Use a dollar bill. “ A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with shit all over his … Read more
Chinese and American are in a plane. Suddenly, the Chinese man puts his shoes off and the American is angry. After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but the Chinese say that he’ll do it. While he’s gone, the American spits into his shoes. The Chinese get back and the American drinks his … Read more
A policeman sees a car weaving all over the road and hits his flashing lights. He walks up to the driver’s window and sees a good looking woman behind the wheel. There is a strong smell of liquor on her breath. He says, “I’m going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you … Read more
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain, “came the reply, “except the lawyers … Read more
The bartender said “Sorry,we don’t serve time travelers. “ Two time travelers walk into a bar. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.