Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Smell Wine
April 5, 2026
A priest was driving down the road one day when getting stopped by a cop. The cop smelled alcohol on the priest’s breath and saw an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He said to the priest, “Father, have you been drinking?” The priest replied, “Only water, officer. “ The cop then
Toilet Paper – Drunk Staggers
April 5, 2026
A drunk staggers in a Catholic church late one night and collapses in the confessional. Next morning he’s awoken by the sound of the priest entering the cubicle next to him. The priest addresses him through the grille. “Good morning, my son. What can I do for you?” “You got here just in time, “replies
Broken Jaw
April 5, 2026
A man is in a bar talking to his friend. “Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house. “ “Did he get anything?”asks his friend. “Yes, “says the man. “A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home
Movies Psst
April 5, 2026
Two old ladies are at the movies. “Psst, “says one old lady. “I think the guy next to me is beating off. “ “What makes you say that?” “He’s using my hand. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Jersey Cow – Honor Accident
April 5, 2026
“Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!” “Was it a Jersey cow?” “I am not sure – I didn’t see her license plate!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Bar Owner Pauses
April 5, 2026
A horse walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and says “Give me a beer. “ The bartender is stunned, so he heads to the back of the bar to speak with the owner. “Hey boss” he says, “there’s a horse in the bar asking for a beer. “ The bar owner
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a