Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Garage Rain
April 5, 2026
A guy goes fishing every Saturday morning. He gets up early and eager, makes his lunch, hooks up his boat and off he goes, all day long. Well, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs the dog and goes to the garage to
Math Professor
April 5, 2026
A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband. It says: “My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old
Mama Reassures Isabella
April 5, 2026
As is tradition in Italian families, Isabella spends her wedding night in her family home. Her mother sleeps in the adjacent room in case Isabella has any questions. Mama tells Isabella, “You have a problem, you come and see Mama. “ Later, Isabella’s husband unbuttons his shirt, and Isabella jumps up, runs next door and
Prepared Eat Days
April 5, 2026
Man: “What have you prepared to eat today?” Wife: “Nothing. “ Man: “But you did nothing yesterday. “ Wife : “I made it for two days. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Hairiest Spot
April 5, 2026
Two Italian virgins marry and go on their honeymoon. Unfortunately, neither knows what to do when they get there. The newlyweds call the groom’s mother for advice. The mother says that they should sit on the bed together, snuggle, and things should happen from there. The newlyweds do this, but nothing happens. The groom calls
Plain English
April 5, 2026
A man told his doctor he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house like he used to. When the examination was complete, he said “Now Doc, tell me in plain English what is wrong with me. “ “Well in plain English, “the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy. “ “Okay, “said the man.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a