Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Colleague Offered
April 5, 2026
When a woman became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice. “The first ten years are the hardest, “he said. “How long have you been married?” she asked. “Ten years”, he replied. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Corner Degrees Cold
April 5, 2026
Son: Dad, it’s so cold in here! Father: Go stand in the corner. Son: Why? Father: The corner is 90 degrees. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Bright Idea Assume
April 5, 2026
A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: “Assume we have a can opener… “ This joke is included in the
Flag Pole
April 5, 2026
A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole. They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling down, etc. A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground
Mean Student
April 5, 2026
Teacher : What is the half of 8? Student: Miss horizontally or vertically? Teacher: What do you mean? Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Ate Poisonous Mushrooms
April 5, 2026
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. “How wonderful! But I hope you don’t mind me asking what happened to your first husband?” “He ate poisonous mushrooms and died. “ “Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?” “He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died. “ “Oh,
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a