Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Green Golf Balls

Green Golf Balls

April 5, 2026

A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around, frowning. Finally the pro asks her what she wants. “I can’t find any green golf balls, “the blonde golfer complains. The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are

Minutes Malcolm

Minutes Malcolm

April 5, 2026

Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo? Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first. Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz. Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where’s the p? Malcolm: Miss, it’s running down my leg! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from

Pickle Slicer

Pickle Slicer

April 5, 2026

Josh has worked in a pickle factory for several years. One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Josh vows to overcome this rash desire on his own. A

Visited Japan

Visited Japan

April 5, 2026

Father: Which one do you love more , me or Mommy? Son: I love you both. Father: Very Well , let’s say I went to Japan and Mommy went to France. Which country will you go to? Son: Japan. Father: See, that you love Mommy more than me? Son: No, I just want to visit

Weaklings Cops

Weaklings Cops

April 5, 2026

A small kid was on the street and was playing. A cop who was crossing around that street, saw him and asked him: “What are you doing there kiddo?” “I’m playing… “ “What are you playing?” “Oh, well… I collect sand, I pour some water in and then I add some poop and I’m making

Math Lesson

Math Lesson

April 5, 2026

Little Johnny was in his math lesson one day when his teacher asked him a question to see if he was paying attention. “If I gave you 40, “she began, “and you gave 10 to Mary, 10 to Suzan and 10 to Wendy, what would you have?” Johnny thought about this and then answered, “An

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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