Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Johnny Well
April 5, 2026
Little Johnny: “Dad, will you do my math for me tonight?” Dad: “No, son, it wouldn’t be right. “ Little Johnny: “Well, you could try. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Gas Men
April 5, 2026
Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they
Alarm System
April 5, 2026
Passing an office building late one night, a little Johnny saw a sign that said, “Press bell for night watchman. “ He did so, and after several minutes he heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The old, uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally
Confident Smile
April 5, 2026
A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. “All right children, let’s take another example, “she said. “If I were to get into a man’s pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?” Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile,
Acute Angina
April 5, 2026
An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home. They undressed and were about to screw, The woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition. “I should tell you, I have acute angina, “she said. The man replied, “That’s very good because you have the ugliest breasts
Viagra Tablet
April 5, 2026
A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in hospital. “How are you grandpa? he asks. “Feeling fine, “says the old man. “What’s the food like?” “Terrific, wonderful menus. “ “And the nursing?” “Just couldn’t be better. These young nurses really take care of you. “ “What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?” “No problem,
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a