Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Vampire Pulls
April 5, 2026
A vampire goes into the bar and and for a glass of hot water. The bartender says, “I thought you guys only drank blood. “ The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, “We do, I’m making tea. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from
Sperm Bank – Walks Sperm
April 5, 2026
A man walks into a sperm Bank. He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle and decides to start a conversation with him. He approaches the man and says “So then, do you come here often?” The man replies “Only when the internet is off” and walks off. This joke
Cuccureddu’s Mountain
April 5, 2026
A shepherd goes to a television programme. A man of the viewers stand up and asks him, “What was the best day of your life?” The shepherd answers, “Well… the best day of my life was when I lost my donkey in Cuccureddu’s mountain, when I found it, i took it to the village’s square
Bed Sheet
April 5, 2026
One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii. On return the curious girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go to in Hawaii and what did you see?” The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room
Intimate Pastor
April 5, 2026
A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, “We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks. “ The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor asked them, “Well, were you able to get through the two
Johnny Teacher
April 5, 2026
Teacher: “Who knows 5+5=?” Little Johnny: “11” Teacher: “Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a