Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Bank President
April 5, 2026
A little old lady entered the main branch of a large downtown bank with a large grocery bag in her arms. She told the teller that she wanted to open an account to make a substantial deposit, in excess of $200,000. Further, she said that since such a large sum was involved, she would deal
Train Cause We’re
April 5, 2026
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last
Survivor Finds
April 5, 2026
A man, a woman, and a great survivor are trapped on an island. The survivor finds a bunch of coconuts. The man thinks to himself, “What if there are other people on the island? Then we won’t be stranded!” He threw coconuts at nearby ships, and the island was populated. Everybody looks at him cross.
Service Station Proprietor
April 5, 2026
A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. “If I do 150mph, will you take off your clothes?” he asked. “Yes!” said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he speeded up to 150mph, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on
Teenager Won’t
April 5, 2026
A teenage girl come home from school and asks her mother, “Is it true what Rita just told me?” “What’s that?” asks her mother. “Do babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?” said her daughter. “Yes it is dear!” replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up
Doorbell Rings
April 5, 2026
A lady puts an ad in the paper that reads: “Recently single and looking for a man that will not run away, not hit me and treat me right in the bedroom. “ One day her doorbell rings and there is a man with no arms and no legs at the door. He says: “I
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a