Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Apprentice Seaman Above
April 5, 2026
A merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after an evening of partying ashore. As they climbed the gangway, the captain threw up all over himself. Pointing to an apprentice seaman above, he shouted, “Give that man five days in the brig for vomiting!” The following morning the captain was
Potted Geraniums
April 5, 2026
“I’m sorry, “said the clerk in the flower shop, “we don’t have potted geraniums. Could you use African violets instead?” The customer said sadly, “No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Finds Herself Atop
April 5, 2026
Standing beside a valiant stallion, a beautiful blonde decides she must ride this animal despite having no previous riding experience. Soon, she finds herself atop the horse’s back, galloping through a lush green meadow. Unsuspecting, the horse suddenly picks up speed and she finds herself euphoric over the freedom she is experiencing. Once again, the
Record Store
April 5, 2026
A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. “Do you have ‘Eyes of Blue’ and ‘A Love Supreme’?” she asked. “Well, no, “answered the puzzled homeowner. “But I have a wife and eleven children. “ “Is that a record?” she inquired. “I don’t think
Babe Girlfriend Bam
April 5, 2026
Girlfriend: Wanna see a magic trick? Boyfriend: Sure babe! Girlfriend: BAM! You’re single. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Foot Chubby Bald
April 5, 2026
A wife went to the police station with her next door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, “He’s 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children. “
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a