Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Kind Word

Kind Word

April 5, 2026

In a greasy spoon, a downhearted diner asked the waitress for meatloaf and some kind words. She brought the meatloaf but didn’t say a thing. “Hey, “he said, “what about my kind word?” She replied, “Don’t eat the meatloaf. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from

Rat Stretches Cracks

Rat Stretches Cracks

April 5, 2026

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?” The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano.

Bash Grumble Boiled

Bash Grumble Boiled

April 5, 2026

Two eggs were in a pot, being boiled. One said to the other, “it’s so hot in here I don’t think I can stand it much longer. “ The other replied, “Don’t grumble. As soon as they get you out of here, they bash your head with a spoon. “ This joke is included in

Hey Cabby

Hey Cabby

April 5, 2026

“Hey, cabby! How much to take me to the station?” “Five bucks, sir. “ “And how much for my suitcase?” “No charge for the suitcase, sir. “ “Okay. Take the case and I’ll walk. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Yeah Bob

Yeah Bob

April 5, 2026

Bob turned up to his first day at the funeral home. He was learning the ropes from Jimmy who had been working as a funeral director for the last 4 years. All was going well until they put the first coffin into the back of the hearse. Jimmy said, “Bob, ok. It’s in the right

Ship Capsized

Ship Capsized

April 5, 2026

A cruise ship full of Mother-in-Laws was heading towards Hawaii for a week when their ship capsized killing everyone. Their families cried for a whole week. But after 3 weeks one man was still crying, so the people asked him why he was still crying. The man replies, “My Mother-in-Law missed the darn boat!” This

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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