Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Jury Trial
April 5, 2026
A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial. “Jury trial, “the defendant replied. “Do you understand the difference?” asked the judge. “Sure, “replied the defendant. “That’s where twelve ignorant people decide my fate instead of one. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can
Home Rather Late
April 5, 2026
Mary comes home rather late. “Oh, sweetheart, “she called, “your car’s on Maple Street. “ “Why didn’t you bring it home?” her husband asked. “Couldn’t, she said. “It’s too dark out there to find all the parts. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Bartender Smiles
April 5, 2026
Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. “What’ll be, boys?” The first vampire says, “Blood. Give me blood. “ The second vampire says, “I too wish for blood!” The third vampire says, “Give me plasma. “ The Bartender smiles and says, “Got it. Two
Improvement Kathy Interrupts
April 5, 2026
Kathy goes to her local bank, walks into the manager’s office, and says, “I want a loan; I am going to divorce my husband. “ “Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces, “the manager says. “We offer loans only for things like real estate, appliances, automobiles, businesses, and home improvement. “ Kathy interrupts: “Stop right
District Attorney
April 5, 2026
After her conviction of murder in the second degree, the District Attorney, during her sentencing hearing said, “Mrs. Madison – after you put the arsenic in the stew and served it to your husband, didn’t you feel even a little remorse for what you were doing?” “I did, “she said calmly. “And when was that?”
Men’s Clothes
April 5, 2026
A couple was at the mall and his wife decided to buy something for their daughter-in-law at an exclusive lingerie shop. Inside, the husband was feeling very out of place when a beautiful clerk asked if she could help him. In a cocky manner, he asked, “Where are all the men’s clothes?” In a demure
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a