Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Feelings Toward
April 5, 2026
Michelle:” I hear you broke off your engagement to Rob. Why?” Joanna:” It’s just that my feelings toward him weren’t the same any more. “ Michelle:” Are you returning the ring?” Joanna: “No way! My feelings toward the ring haven’t changed one bit!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can
Mathematical Function
April 5, 2026
“I love you” is a mathematical function where, ‘I love’ is the constant and ‘you’ is the variable… and marriage inverts the function, where “you” becomes the constant, “I love” becomes the variable. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Sobbed Johnny
April 5, 2026
Little Johnny came downstairs bellowing lustily. His mother asked, “What’s the matter now?” “Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with a hammer, “said Johnny through his tears. “That’s not so serious, “soothed his mother. “I know you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. Why
I’ll Check
April 5, 2026
Wife:”There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor. “ Husband:”Water in a carburetor? That’s ridiculous. “ Wife:”I tell you the cas has water in the carburetor. “ Husband:”You don’t even know what a carburetor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?” Wife:”In the pool. “ This joke is included in the
Story Well Johnny
April 5, 2026
One day at the end of class, little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. “My dad owns a farm and
Brief Unexpected
April 5, 2026
Chris and Paul were having a beer at the neighborhood bar. “What’s the matter?” asked Chris of his buddy. “You look kind of down. “ “My wife just told me that my lovemaking is just like a news bulletin. “ “Why’s that?” “Because it’s brief, unexpected and usually a disaster. “ This joke is included
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a