Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Tattoo Neck Shall

Tattoo Neck Shall

April 5, 2026

Husband: “I want to tattoo your name on me. What do you think, shall I do it on my arm or neck?” Wife: “How about on your will?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Tax Fine Wrong

Tax Fine Wrong

April 5, 2026

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

News Which

News Which

April 5, 2026

Patient: “I’m in a hospital! Why am I here?” Doctor: “You’ve had an accident involving a bus. “ Patient: “What happened?” Doctor: “Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?” Patient: “Give me the bad news first. “ Doctor: “Your legs were injured so badly that

Needed Surgery

Needed Surgery

April 5, 2026

A doctor told his patient after reviewing his x-rays he needed surgery costing $5000. 00. The patient said he only had $500. 00 and what could be done. The doctor said, “Well, I can always touch-up your x-rays. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Psychiatrist’s Office

Psychiatrist’s Office

April 5, 2026

A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a zucchini up his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, and a breadstick in his right ear. He says, “Doctor, what is wrong with me?” The psychiatrist replies, “You are not eating properly. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can

Chase Cars Doesn’t

Chase Cars Doesn’t

April 5, 2026

A 70 year old man asked his wife, “Do you feel sad when you see me running behind younger women?” The wife replies, “No, not at all. Even dogs chase cars, doesn’t mean they can drive them. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

Next