Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Knock Saint Peter
April 5, 2026
There is a knock on the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks out, and a man is standing there. Saint Peter is about to begin his interview when the man disappears. A moment later there’s another knock. Saint Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, but the man disappears once again.
Child’s Custody
April 5, 2026
A man and a woman went to court disputing over custody of their child. The Judge asked the woman to rise and argue her case. “I went through all the pain of undergoing labor and I see no reason why the child’s custody should not be handed to me”, she pleaded. The man replied, “Your
Nurse Nancy
April 5, 2026
Two doctors in practice in a small town clinic in Bluebell had to hire a new nurse when the one they had won the lottery and quit. They interviewed Nurse Nancy and decided to hire her. She had only worked two days when one doctor called the other to his office and said that they
Gosh I’ve Forgotten
April 5, 2026
A crazy man jumps from the bushes and opens his coat in front of an old lady to surprise and terrify her. The granny takes a look at him and says: “Oh, Gosh, I’ve forgotten to buy the eggs. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from
Jetliners Crash
April 5, 2026
A first-time flier was very nervous as he buckled his seat belt before takeoff. He turned to the woman in the next seat and asked, “How often do jetliners crash?” The woman thought for a moment and replied, “Usually, just once. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order
Love Almost
April 5, 2026
A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day, he meets a beautiful 25-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to the Caribbean for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, “So, tell me, how was it?” “Oh, it was beautiful, “says the man.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a