Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Inches Long
April 5, 2026
A man walks into his local butcher’s shop and complains about the leg of lamb that he had previously bought. “When I cooked it the joint had shrunk so much it went from 12 inches long to only 4-inches. “ The butcher said to the man “That’s funny, my wife knitted me a sweater and
Machine Copy Print
April 5, 2026
A sign on the wall for the economic use of the company’s copy machine, “Copy & Print in Black & White only, please!” Someone crossed off the word “Black” later on. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Twenty Customers
April 5, 2026
Store owner: “Thank you for your patronage. I wish I had twenty customers like you. “ Customer: “Gosh, it’s nice to hear that, but I’m kind of surprised. You know that I argue every bill and always pay late. “ Store owner: “I’d still like twenty customers like you. The problem is, I have two
Required Salary
April 5, 2026
The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee. “I see you have put ‘ASAP’ down for the date you are available to start, meaning as soon as possible, of course. However, I see you’ve put ‘AMAP’ down for the required salary. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen that before, what does
Great Night’s Sleep
April 5, 2026
Bob had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. After a few weeks of this, his boss was mad and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Bob went to his doctor, who gave him a pill and told him to take
Races I’ve Won
April 5, 2026
Some race horses stay in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 16 races, I’ve won 8 of them!” Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 20! !” “Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 29!” says another,
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a