Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Lead Flight Attendant – Airborne Approximately
April 5, 2026
Being airborne approximately thirty minutes on an outbound evening flight from Dublin the lead flight attendant nervously made the following announcement in her lovely Irish brogue: “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up… one minute prior to take-off, by our catering service… , I don’t
Chute Robert Phew
April 5, 2026
Two skydivers, Oliver and Robert, jumped out of the plane and were having a conversation on the way down. Robert: “I was in a hurry this morning, and I can’t remember if I asked you to pack my chute for me. “ Oliver: “I’ve been pretty forgetful myself. I’m lucky I remembered to pack mine.
Lion Cub
April 5, 2026
Mother Lion: Junior, what are you doing? Lion Cub: I’m chasing a hunter around a tree. Mother Lion: How many times must I tell you not to play with your food? This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Barrels Bob Both
April 5, 2026
Two hunters are in the forest. Bob: I just met a great big bear in the woods. Mike: Did you give him both barrels? Bob: Both barrels? I gave him the whole gun. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Cookie Today’s Investment
April 5, 2026
A nervous passenger decided to purchase flight insurance at the ticket counter. She had some time before the flight’s departure, so she stopped in a Chinese restaurant in the concourse. She started to shake as she read her fortune cookie: “Today’s investment will pay big dividends!” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Snail Answered Sluggish
April 5, 2026
A snail was involved in an accident that resulted in his shell being torn completely off. Hearing about the accident, one of his friends rushed over ,as much as a snail can rush to his friend’s house. “I heard about your accident!” he exclaimed, and then asked, “How are you feeling?” The recovering snail answered,
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a