Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Rats Well
April 5, 2026
Two Scientists were working late discussing ideas about behavior modification studies. “We’ve started something new at my lab, “said the first scientist. “For some of our more dangerous experiments, we’re now using lawyers”. “Lawyers?” asks the second scientist. “Why aren’t you using rats?” “Well you know how it is, “the first scientist replies. “You can
I’ll Examine
April 5, 2026
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dog. Doctor: Lie down on the couch and I’ll examine you. Patient: I can’t, I’m not allowed on the furniture. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Pigs Eat
April 5, 2026
There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would
Shelter’s Pantry Regardless
April 5, 2026
A man walks into a bar and says “I just got back from the battered women’s shelter, and boy are my arms tired. “ Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter’s pantry, regardless
Bus Conductor – Bus Conductor
April 5, 2026
A bus conductor asks a drunk for his ticket. He goes through all his pockets but can’t find it. ‘It’s okay,’ says the conductor. ‘I’m sure you paid.’ ‘Never mind that,’ says the drunk. ‘If I can’t find it, how am I supposed to know where I’m going?’ This joke is included in the Black
Normal Person
April 5, 2026
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well, “said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a