Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Tough Hairy Biker
April 5, 2026
A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, “What are you doing?” “I’m going to commit suicide, “she says. While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also
Lift Itself
April 5, 2026
A man is lying on the beach, sun bathing, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick. An ugly woman is passing and remarks “If you were a gentleman, you would lift your hat for a lady … “ He replies “If you were any sort of lady, the hat would lift itself!” This joke
Caddie I’d Move
April 5, 2026
Toward the end of a particularly trying round of golf, Jack was the picture of frustration. He’d hit too many far shots. Finally he blurted out to his caddie, “I’d move heaven and earth to break a hundred on this course. “ “Try heaven, “replied the caddie. “You’ve already moved most of the earth. “
David Agrees
April 5, 2026
A new pianist is needed in a posh restaurant in Manhattan. A guy called David comes in and says “Hi there, I’m here about the pianist position. “ The manager replies “That is awesome, do you mind sitting at the piano and showing me what you can do?” David sits at the piano and starts
Salesman May
April 5, 2026
A lady walks into a fancy jewelry store. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person
Church Goer Christopher
April 5, 2026
“I hope you didn’t take it personally, Father, “an embarrassed woman said after a church service “when my husband walked out during your sermon. “ “I did find it rather disconcerting, “the vicar replied. “It’s not a reflection on you, Father” insisted the church goer. “Christopher has been walking in his sleep ever since he
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a