Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Along Hello Murphy
April 5, 2026
Murphy the bus driver is sitting in his cab when his supervisor comes along. “Hello, Murphy, “he says. “What time did you pull out this morning?’ “I didn’t, “replies Murphy. “And I’ve been worrying about it all day.’” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Chamomile Tea
April 5, 2026
A woman who was beaten black and blue, went to the doctor. Doctor: “What happened?” Woman: “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk, he beats me to a pulp. “ Doctor: “I have really good medicine for that. Whenever your husband comes home inebriated, just take a glass
The Lady with Parkinson’s
April 5, 2026
An old man and old woman met after both became residents at a retirement home. They began to get pretty friendly, and really enjoyed each other’s company. After about three weeks of getting to know each other, the old man said to the woman, “I know we are both old and can’t do much sexually
Pig Ouiii
April 5, 2026
The circus advertised a new act, “Pig That Can Speak French. “ The trainer walked onto the stage, one hand holding a small pig with a green ribbon while the other held a wooden mallet. “Parlez-vous français?” asks the trainer and then proceeds to hit the pig with the mallet. The pig: “Ouiii” This joke
Sheerin’ Mate
April 5, 2026
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm. He meets another New Zealander who says “You sheerin’ mate?” and the first guy replies “Naw, they’re all mine”. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Cut-Glass Bowl
April 5, 2026
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a