Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Pharmacist Calculates
April 5, 2026
A pollock walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if he sells condoms. We have some for 75 cents a piece. The man asks for two. The pharmacist calculates the total and says, “That will be $1. 58 with tax, sir. “ The pollock says, “Oh, these come with tacks? I was wondering how
Season Ticket
April 5, 2026
James and Neil were fortunate enough to have a season ticket to watch their favorite club games. They could not help noticing that there was always a spare seat next (A16) to them and they had a friend who would love to buy a season ticket, especially if all three could have seats together. One
Wasn’t Nice
April 5, 2026
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings. Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy. “ “Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
Van Horn Soothed
April 5, 2026
“But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!” the society matron protested. “Can’t you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs?” “You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn, “soothed the police officer. “I’ll just put it
Transatlantic Flight
April 5, 2026
On a transatlantic flight was a lively youngster who nearly drove everyone crazy. He was running up and down the aisle when the flight attendant started serving coffee. He ran smack into her, knocking a cup of coffee out of her hand and onto the floor. As he stood by watching her clean up the
Nostril Raspberry Sauce
April 5, 2026
A policeman is driving along the road when he gets an urgent message on his radio telling him there has been a dead body found in an ice cream van just down the road. He rushes to the scene where he discovers a man’s body, with chocolate flakes up each nostril, raspberry sauce all over
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a