Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Indeed Remember
April 5, 2026
A young man wants to be left something in his aunt’s will, so every day he goes round and takes her poodles for a walk. When she finally dies, she does indeed remember the kindness of her nephew – and leaves him the poodles. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You
Underground Home
April 5, 2026
Patrick left the pub after having too much to drink. He was taking the underground home. As he started to get on the escalator, he read the sign: ‘Dogs must be carried on the escalator.’ He shouted, ‘Now where am I going to find a dog after midnight?’ This joke is included in the Black
Honest Opinion Client
April 5, 2026
Lawyer: ‘Let me give you my honest opinion.’ Client: ‘No, no. I’m paying for professional advice.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Mechanic However
April 5, 2026
A couple went shopping when their car broke down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from
Tax Form Suggests
April 5, 2026
A man goes to the doctor. “Doctor, that medicine you gave me isn’t working. Is there anything else I could try?”. “Fill out this tax form, “suggests the doctor. “How’s that going to help me?”, asks the man. “I’m not sure, “replies the doctor, “but some of my patients say it gives them relief. “
Support Arsenal
April 5, 2026
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. “Well, “said the Englishman, “I support the Liverpool football club, so I’ll eat the liver. “ “I support the Hearts club, “said the Scotsman, “so I’ll eat the heart. “ “I support
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a