Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Red Knows Rain
April 5, 2026
One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain. “ His wife asked, “How do you know?” “Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Steve’s Eyes Widened
April 5, 2026
Doc, says Steve, “I want to be castrated. “ “What on Earth for?” “It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time. If you don’t do it, I’ll just go to another doctor. “ “OK, but it’s against my better judgment. “ Steve has his operation. The next day he walks down the hospital
Hours Late
April 5, 2026
A guy walks into a bar and orders six shooters. The bartender says, “Looks like you are having a bad day. “ The guy says, “Am I ever! I woke up late for work. On my way to work, I got in an accident. When I got to work, I was four hours late, so
Minister Climbed
April 5, 2026
The minister of a city church enjoyed a drink now and then, but his passion was for peach brandy. One of his congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas. One year, when the minister went to visit his friend, hoping for his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed, but his friend told him
I’d Sure
April 5, 2026
Two lawyers are walking down the road when they see a beautiful woman walking towards them. ‘What a babe,’ one says. ‘I’d sure like to screw her!’ ‘Really?’ replies the other. ‘Out of what?’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Regular Kind
April 5, 2026
Man goes to the doctors and says “Doctor, I can’t stop my hands from shaking !” Doctor replies “Do you drink much ?” Man says “no, I spill most of it !” Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. “My name is Billy.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a