Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Sexual Contact

Sexual Contact

April 5, 2026

At a conference on the supernatural, one of the speakers asked, “Who here has ever seen a ghost?” Most of the hands go up. “And how many of you have had some form of interaction with a ghost?” About half the hands stay up. “Okay, now how many of you have had *physical* contact with

You’ve Given

You’ve Given

April 5, 2026

Peter went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over. “You’ve given me one too many, “Peter said. “That one is a freebie” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

American Dog

American Dog

April 5, 2026

A man is out walking in New York when he sees a girl being savaged by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by beating about the head with a stick and saves the girl’s life. The girl’s mother rushes over to him: “Thank you, thank you, you are a hero, tomorrow all the

Parrot Steps

Parrot Steps

April 5, 2026

A guy gets a parrot but it’s got a bad attitude and foul vocabulary. He tries everything to change the bird’s attitude and clean up its talk but nothing works. Finally, in a moment of desperation, he puts the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments he hears the bird squawking, kicking and screaming

Stupid Dog

Stupid Dog

April 5, 2026

A guy walks into a bar with his dog. He takes a seat and says, “I can bet 50 bucks to each of you that my dog can talk!” Everybody around agrees to the bet. The guy says, “Charlie, speak!” The dog is silent. “Charlie, speak, “the guy repeats. The noble dog still doesn’t react.

Bar Ouch

Bar Ouch

April 5, 2026

A man walks into a bar. “Ouch. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Chinese Proverb

Chinese Proverb

April 5, 2026

James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light