Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Less Each
April 5, 2026
Stanley was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. Then the foreman asked Stanley why he kept painting less each day? He replied, “I just can’t do any
Stop Yelled
April 5, 2026
A woman drove a minivan filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign. “Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?” yelled an irate man. She rolled down her window and yelled back, “What makes you think these are all
Worsted Wool Vest
April 5, 2026
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the
Sooner Pleaded
April 5, 2026
A lawyer was on his cell phone, calling a locksmith. “I locked my keys in my sports car!” said the nervous lawyer. “No problem, I should be there in about an hour, “replied the locksmith. “Do you think you can make it a little sooner?” pleaded the lawyer. “My top is down and it’s starting
The Doctor’s Nice House – Young Brings
April 5, 2026
A young woman brings her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man, so the father invites the fiancé to his study for a chat. “So what are your plans?” the father asks the young man. “I am a Torah scholar, “he replies.
Well Behaved
April 5, 2026
A property manager of a single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. “Professionally employed?” he asked. “We’re a military family, “the wife answered. “Children?” “Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve, “she answered proudly. “Animals?” “Oh, no, “she said earnestly. “They’re very well behaved. “ This joke is included
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Chinese Proverb
April 5, 2026
James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light