Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

George Laughed

George Laughed

April 5, 2026

George looked over the backyard fence and admired Joe’s wife while she sunbathed topless. The next day, George corners his neighbor on the driveway saying, “I saw your wife sunbathing in the backyard without her top on yesterday. “ Joe was quite put out over the peeping incident and told George he planned revenge. That

Haven’t Eaten

Haven’t Eaten

April 5, 2026

A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman out shopping. ‘I haven’t eaten anything in four days,’ he says. She looks at him and says, ‘God, I wish I had your willpower.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Screw Herself

Screw Herself

April 5, 2026

Three men discuss the Christmas presents they bought for their wives. The first man says that he bought his wife a vacation home in the Bahamas and one in Jamaica. “That way, “he explains, “if she doesn’t like one, she can use the other. “ The second man says he had bought his wife a

Tanks Mister Sex

Tanks Mister Sex

April 5, 2026

An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks him, “What’s wrong?” The boy says, “Me ma is dead”. “Oh bejaysus, “the man says. “Do you want me to call Father O’Riley for you?” The boy replies, “No tanks mister. Sex is the last ting on my mind at the

Which Adam

Which Adam

April 5, 2026

Adam goes to God and says, “I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way. “ God says, “Certainly I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye. “ To which Adam replied, “Well, what can

Serve Lawyers

Serve Lawyers

April 5, 2026

A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, ‘Do you serve lawyers here?’ ‘Sure do,’ replies the bartender. ‘Good,’ says the man. ‘Give me a beer, and a lawyer for my’gator.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

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Chinese Proverb

Chinese Proverb

April 5, 2026

James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light