Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Middle Aged Businessman
April 5, 2026
An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor. The doctor says, “We have three possible donors. One is a young, healthy athlete. The second is a middle aged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practicing law for 30 years.
Priest Responded
April 5, 2026
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?” “I think so, “the man replied. “My wife has made all the appetizers herself and we have a caterer coming in to provide plenty of sandwiches and cakes for all of our
Why the Groom Wears Black – Elderly Ladies
April 5, 2026
Two elderly ladies were discussing the upcoming dance at the country club. “We’re supposed to wear something that matches our husband’s hair, so I’m wearing black, “said Mrs. Smith. “Oh my, “said Mrs. Jones, “I’d better not go. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Stick Casts
April 5, 2026
A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell if he is late or not. Then, he notices a patient similarly strolling about within the hospital fence. Calling out to the patient, the man says, “Pardon me, sir, but do you
Discourage Business
April 5, 2026
When the office printer color started to look a little off the manager called the local repair shop. To the manager’s surprise, the clerk said that it would cost $50 but that he might try reading the manual and doing it himself. The manager replied in astonishment, “Does your boss know that you discourage business
Neither He’s Bald
April 5, 2026
A guy walked into his friend’s office. He found his friend sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. “Hey, what’s up with you?, “he asked. “Oh, it’s my wife, “replied the man sadly. “She’s hired a new secretary for me. “ “Well, nothing wrong in that, “he said, “Is she blonde or brunette?” “Neither. He’s
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a