Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Voice Sam
April 5, 2026
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat. “ The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to
Tiniest Dick
April 5, 2026
Mitchell saw his doctor and asked if he had ever laughed at a patient. “In over 20 years I haven’t because I try to remain professional. “ With that Mitchell dropped his trousers revealing the tiniest dick the doctor had ever seen. It wasn’t any bigger than a AAA battery. The doctor burst into uncontrollable
Lingerie Store Marvin
April 5, 2026
Seventy-five-year-old Marvin goes to the local mall and tries to find a gift for his wife for Women’s Day. Upon passing a lingerie store, Marvin realizes that his wife has never bought any lingerie in her life. He gets the idea to buy his wife something sexy to make her feel good and young. Marvin
Midget Reaches
April 5, 2026
A man standing at a urinal notices that he’s being watched by a midget. “Wow, “comments the midget. “Those are the nicest balls I have ever seen!” Surprised and flattered, the man thanks the midget and continues to pee. Suddenly, the midget pulls up a step ladder right next to the urinal and says, “Listen,
Accident Happened
April 5, 2026
A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The following exchange took place between the lawyer and the witness: The lawyer: “Did you actually see the accident?” The witness: “Yes, sir. “ The lawyer: “How far away were you when the accident happened?” The witness: “Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches. “ The lawyer:
Falls Down Times
April 5, 2026
A guy goes into a bar and sits down next to a guy who’s obviously been drinking for a while. The drunk gets up from his stool to go to the bathroom and falls down 3 times. The guy says to himself “I’ll help this guy get home safely” and helps him out to his
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a