Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Tomato Sauce
April 5, 2026
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. “Oh no, I look like a pig” The man nods, “And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it
Yelled Rose
April 5, 2026
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great… I would recommend it very highly. “ The other man said,
Fathers Chat Outside
April 5, 2026
Two fathers chat outside school in the morning; “Bill, have you solved your son’s math problems?” “Yes, man, I did. Why?” “Can you quickly give them to me, so I can copy them… ?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Chocolate Chip Cookies
April 5, 2026
An old, old man was lying in his death bed upstairs. His most favorite food in the world was chocolate chip cookies. As he lay there, gasping for each breath, he was sure he could smell freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies. He crawled out of bed and slowly limped down the stairs. Sure enough, across the
Farmer Shot Chuck
April 5, 2026
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, “I’m Eddie, I’m here to pick up Betty. We’re going for spaghetti, is she ready?” “No. “ The second beau came to the door and said, “I’m Joe, I’m here to
Mean Stacy
April 5, 2026
A talk between blondes Stacy: You know Tracy, sometimes I don’t understand life. Tracy: What do you mean? Stacy: When we were younger, we learnt to talk and to walk. At school, we always have to sit down and shut up… This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a