Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Fat Frog

Fat Frog

April 5, 2026

A man is walking through the woods and he meets a really ugly, big and fat frog. The frog says: “Hello, prince, if you kiss me, I will fulfill your one wish. You can wish whatever you want. “ The man says: “Ok, I will kiss you. “ He kisses the frog, he has told

Violin Lessons Last

Violin Lessons Last

April 5, 2026

“Haven’t I seen your face before?” a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. “You have, Your Honor, “the man answered hopefully. “I gave your son violin lessons last winter. “ “Ah, yes, “recalled the judge. “Twenty years!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Fiftieth Anniversary I’ll

Fiftieth Anniversary I’ll

April 5, 2026

While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the “good old days. “ Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, “Jay, aren’t you and

Can’t Waiter

Can’t Waiter

April 5, 2026

Customer: “Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?” Waiter: “Can’t you tell the difference by taste?” Customer: “No, I can’t. “ Waiter: “Then does it really matter?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Egg Slapped

Egg Slapped

April 5, 2026

Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, “I have to go change. I’ll be back in a minute. “ Five minutes later, the female egg walked out in a slinky “egg”lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the

Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ

April 5, 2026

A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, “I’m Jesus Christ. “ The first priest says, “No, son, I’m Jesus Christ. “ So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest replies, “No, son, I’m Jesus Christ. “ The drunk says,

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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