Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Twice Last
April 5, 2026
A man went to the doctor’s. The doctor asked what the problem was. “Well, “said the man, “My wife and I aren’t getting as much out of sex as we used to, doctor. “ “How old are you, Mr Jones?” asked the doctor. “I’m 87, doctor. “ “And how old is your wife, Mr Jones?”
Solid Sex
April 5, 2026
Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel. When they get there, one guy suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial. After two hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned to his new partner and said, “Wow! This is the very best sex I’ve had in
Ben Marries
April 5, 2026
Ben marries a virgin. On their wedding night, he’s on fire, and wants some dirty fun so he gets naked, jumps into bed, and immediately begins groping her. “Ben, I expect you to be as mannerly in bed as you are at the dinner table. “ So, Ben folds his hands on his lap and
Pussy Once Jimmy
April 5, 2026
The teacher asked Jimmy, “Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?” Jimmy replied crying, “Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, ‘I am going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today! ‘“ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Oxygen Mask Embarrassed
April 5, 2026
A Male patient just recovered successfully from a sex threatening health attack. He was wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and laying on a hospital bed. A young nurse came to cleanse his body with a sponge. The patient mumbled, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse replied, “I don’t know Sir, I am
Drink Named Philip
April 5, 2026
A screwdriver rolls into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The screwdriver squeals, “You have a drink named Philip??” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a