Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Insurance Company Paid
April 5, 2026
A lawyer and an accountant were having cocktails in the Caribbean. The lawyer said “I’m here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. “ “That’s quite a coincidence”, said the accountant, “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed
Maid Listen
April 5, 2026
A guy calls his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, “Who is this?” “This is the maid, “answered the woman. “We don’t have a maid!” “I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house. “ “Well, this is her husband. Is she there?” “Ummm…she’s upstairs in
Quite Understandable Nods
April 5, 2026
Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family. “I just can’t stand my mother-in-law, “sighs one. “That’s quite understandable, “nods the other one, “Why don’t you just have the potatoes with the gravy?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from
Airline Office
April 5, 2026
A blondie calls the airline office in Dallas and asks, “How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?” The clerk says to her, “Just a second. “ The woman says “Thank you”, and hangs up. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Worthless Insufferable Wretched
April 5, 2026
A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and hugged her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her. “ “You
Screams Schwartz
April 5, 2026
While examining the body of Mr. Schwartz, a mortician notices that Schwartz has the largest penis he has ever seen. “I’m sorry, Mr. Schwartz, “says the mortician, “But I can’t send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity. “ The mortician removes the penis,
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a