Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Noisy Launderette

Noisy Launderette

April 5, 2026

A woman goes into a noisy launderette and asks the assistant to do a service wash. ‘What?!’ shouts the assistant. ‘Come again?!’ ‘No!’ shouts back the woman. ‘This time it’s mustard!’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Lunch Sometime

Lunch Sometime

April 5, 2026

Man to a woman: “Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger?” Woman: “No. “ Man: “Let’s have lunch sometime…” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Smoke Having Sex

Smoke Having Sex

April 5, 2026

Man to woman: ‘Tell me, after having sex do you ever smoke?’ Woman: ‘I’ve never looked.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Broom I’ll Show – Young Hired

Broom I’ll Show – Young Hired

April 5, 2026

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store. “ “But I’m a college graduate, “the young man replied indignantly. “Oh, I’m sorry.

Hermaphrodite Wrong Features

Hermaphrodite Wrong Features

April 5, 2026

A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterward, the doctor comes into her room and says, “I have something to tell you about your child. “ The woman worriedly asks, “What’s wrong with it?” The doctor says, “There’s nothing really wrong with it, it’s just a little different. It’s a hermaphrodite. “ The woman

Position’s Productive Capacity

Position’s Productive Capacity

April 5, 2026

An ambitious employee asked the boss if she could get a raise, and he said, “Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position’s productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment. “ The employee said, “I don’t get it. “ “That’s right, “said the boss. This

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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