Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Sven Madge
April 5, 2026
One day Sven walks into the local pub and announces, “Well boys Svens is getting married. “ As you can imagine all of Sven’s friends were very happy for Sven’s good fortune and they asked, “Who’s the lucky girl?” Sven replied, “Well I am marrying Madge. “ Well, this upset all of Sven’s friends because
Apostrophe Possessive Divorcing
April 5, 2026
Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe are divorcing. He found her to be possessive and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Helicopter Rides
April 5, 2026
An old couple is at a fair and the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50. The old man asks his wife, “I don’t have much time left. Can I ride in one of them helicopters?” His wife responds, “Oh well that’s way too expensive. “ The man running the helicopter rides as a
Met Nick Passenger
April 5, 2026
A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets in, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Nick. “ The passenger asks “Who?” The cabbie says “Nick Benson. There’s a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It
Fancy Porches
April 5, 2026
At a paternity trial, the blonde’s lawyer asked, “On the night of July 16th last, at approximately 11:45 p. m. , in the locale known generally as ‘Lover’s Lane’ did the defendant have sexual relations with you?” “Yes, “whispered the girl, her head bowed. “And did the defendant on that occasion, to the best of
Lives Depend
April 5, 2026
An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple in their bedroom. The husband turned to his wife and whispered, “Honey, this guy hasn’t seen action in years. If he wants sex, I think it’s best to just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a