Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Librarian Books Suicide

Librarian Books Suicide

April 5, 2026

A man goes into a library and asks where he can find books on suicide. ‘First row on the left,’ replied the librarian. The man replies, ‘But I’ve already looked in that section. It’s empty.’ ‘I’m not surprised,’ says the librarian. ‘They don’t often bring them back. ‘ This joke is included in the Black

Shouts Well

Shouts Well

April 5, 2026

Man comes home to find his 17 yr old daughter with a dildo up her. “What are you doing, “he shouts. “Well you won’t let me have a boyfriend so this is my substitute, “she explains. The next night the daughter comes home to find her dad with a dildo up his arse drinking a

Glasses Pair Home

Glasses Pair Home

April 5, 2026

Man comes home to his wife and says to her: “With the new pair of glasses, you look like sh. t. “ “But I don’t have a new pair of glasses… “she replies. “But, I do. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Meanwhile Andy Approaches

Meanwhile Andy Approaches

April 5, 2026

Andy and Annie are watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera, and announces, “My friends, I’d like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program. Place one hand on top of your TV & the other hand on the part of your body which ails

Onions Yes

Onions Yes

April 5, 2026

A young man asks his father, “Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?” The father, surprised, answers: “Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty,

Ian Sneezed Again

Ian Sneezed Again

April 5, 2026

A lady is on an airplane and is seated next to a man. About half an hour after they took off, the man sneezed. He calmly opened his fly, took out his penis and wiped it with a handkerchief. The lady was shocked but a little too shy to say anything. About 15 minutes later,

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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